I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a big planner and this summer was supposed to be the most planned summer of my life. I thrive on stability and routine.
However, COVID19 has changed everything. My dream trip that I have saved for and dreamed of since I was a child singing and dancing to the cheetah girls got cancelled. Hearing that news broke me into a million pieces. It was a type of heartbreak I have never felt before. This summer was supposed to be the summer of a lifetime. I was supposed to travel the world (well at least Europe) with one of my best friends. We were supposed to study abroad in Spain for a month and had planned on traveling both before and after our program.
Yes, I know that I can go to Europe another time in my life, but I won’t have the same experience that would have had if I was in the study abroad program. We had our plane tickets, lists of places we wanted to go to in the different cities we had planned on visiting, we even had outfits planned. Like I said earlier I’m a planner, and I got excited and started looking to buy clothes for my dream trip.
2020 is not the year people thought it would be. I know it’s very different than how I imagined it. When I thought of 2020, before right now, I envisioned having a great spring break, visiting friends, spending my 21st birthday wine tasting in Napa Valley, studying abroad and experiencing Europe, and now I’m spending the remainder of my junior year of college taking my classes online at the kitchen table of my family’s house.
I had to write this not just for myself, but for others and really everyone out there that has something that has to be rewritten.
As a writer, I rewrite something sometimes several times, but if you asked me how to rewrite the plans I had planned on writing, I wouldn't know what to say. Life is unexpected, yes, but I don’t think anyone ever thought they would have to rewrite as much as they have to do right now. This is difficult on anyone and affects everyone.
I think the biggest thing we have to remember is that the whole world is figuring out how to rewrite the things they had planned on writing. This pandemic doesn’t just affect people in Europe, China, and the United States. It doesn’t just affect people of color, people of different abilities, people of different social classes. It affects every single damn person in the world, which is why this has to be taken seriously.
We all have to rewrite our plans in some way, and here’s how I plan on rewriting mine.
I’m trying to avoid looking at my planners. Some people may still want to use their planners, but I’m making lists on the sticky notes app on my mac laptop to keep track of what I need to do each day. The reason I don’t want to look at my planner is because everything I had written in them is now no longer happening and for me, looking at them will remind me how heartbroken I am. This works for me, but it may not work for you. Take this time to figure out what works best for you.
My new plans for the next couple months include:
1. Finding ways to give back to small businesses and charities in need at this tumultuous time. So far, I have ordered from Pura Vida because they are donating $1 from every sale to Feeding America. I’m on the hunt for some other small ways I can get involved. I think that giving back and finding ways to help from afar right is extremely important if you have the means to help.
2. Spending my days working from home and completing school work for my online classes. I have taken my fair share of online classes in college, but having classes through Zoom is a completely different atmosphere. I still have my set class time for 3 out of my 4 classes, but I am more distracted on Zoom. In one of my classes, several students were outside tanning while on Zoom for class. Students are also feeling less motivated because they aren’t in their regular study locations and may be having to help their family more.
Finding motivation has been hard, but for me I'm trying to keep some sort of routine. I have been making to-do lists of things that I need to work on each day, which have been helping me stay on track with my projects and homework. I'm also trying to designate certain times just for school work and then other time blocks for my job.
3. Figuring out ways to let my emotions flow through creative outlets, such as this blog and adult coloring books. Throughout this whole experience, I’ve learned that my blog is the tool that seems to be the most beneficial to me. Coloring is another tool that can help calm me down. I’m halfway done with completing my coloring book I ordered a couple weeks ago. Coloring has been extremely beneficial to help me calm down and unwind after a day of school and work.
4. Thinking of unique ways to stay occupied through online museum tours. I may not be able to see museums in Europe or anywhere else in person, but I have found several museums websites that are providing people with virtual tours. We may not be able to see these museums in person right now, but we can still learn and look at them from our beds in our cute pj sets. I know I'll be doing this, I may even add this to my to do so it feels like I had always had it planned.
5. Watching movies and shows I wouldn’t have had time to watch. I may not be working in an actual office anymore, but I finally got around the watch "9 to 5" with Dolly Parton, who is one of my many idols that I look up to. I've been watching a ton of movies and television shows with my friends and family. As a family, we have been sitting down to watch them in front of the tv, but with my friends I have been using Zoom and Netflix Party to watch shows together. Instead of going to the movies, I'm rewriting that but setting up my own virtual movie dates, and I'm putting them on my to do list!
6. I may not be writing about what I thought I would, but I'm working hard to find women and stories that matter, so I can write about them. Being at home has allowed me to feel more inspired to write and reach out to people who I think can make a difference, just by sharing their stories with the world. I truly believe I was put on this earth to share the stories of women, especially minority women, whose voices are often dismissed and silenced.
I also think it's important to keep a journal during this time because when we're older we can reflect on it. Who knows, our journals could get turned into famous books one day, so we might as well write about what we can, while we can.
Although this is never how I thought this year would be written, I’m doing my best to rewrite what I can into something beautiful, charitable, and creative. I know that going through this time of unknown is scary and anxiety inducing, even for those who don’t normally have anxiety, but it’s okay to let your body and mind feel the way it’s feeling right now because we have a right to be upset, but it’s how you handle and accept things is what matters.
I hope this helps you rewrite your plans and provides you with ideas of how to rewrite.
Forever Always,
Emily
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