Raechel Friesen helped guide me through college, especially during my freshman year. She gave me the confidence I needed to succeed in college and the ability to become the person I am today. I met her through my sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta. She was one of the first girls to reach out to me.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so excited, but nervous to meet her because I was so new to college and sorority life. I was a curious, yet shy, freshman with many questions. We met at Starbucks, and right away, she made all my nerves go away with her comforting presence.
My first impression of her was that she was a sweet Midwest girl from Minnesota who liked the color pink.
Little did I know then what a huge impact she would have on my college career and my life in general. We quickly became extremely close. In November 2017, she was not only a close friend but my big. A big is like your big sister or mother figure, so to speak in the sorority.
She would have me over to her house whenever I needed a break from dorm life, and she would cook me dinner. She would make me chicken with rice and sometimes fish. I savored those home-cooked meals when I could get them, especially when I got sick of the dorm food. Those were some of my favorite memories of freshman year with her.
With our friendship blossoming, I learned how passionate she was about her major, which was business. When she talked about her classes and the possibilities of the business world’s future she was always passionate. You could see it in her eyes and hear it through her voice.
Through her passion and dedication, you knew she would succeed and even surpass her expectations for herself, she just didn’t know it yet. She also had and still does have a passion for the colors, red, white, blue, and pink. Those colors hold power to her as her father is a veteran. She is also very passionate about hockey and Minnesota, which is a far cry from how I grew up.
Quote: “Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.” - Wayne Huizenga
Questions:
What is one word that describes you?
The word Raechel used to describe herself is ambitious.
She simply stated, “This is because I have always been very goal-oriented and driven, always looking to be better for myself and be better for others around me. I think ambition is a way to help me personally and professionally, because naturally, as humans, we will experience times of adversity in both those areas of our lives. I use ambition to help me through those difficult times. Having a will to succeed, which is defined differently for everyone, is what helps keep me motivated towards my goals and towards helping those around me so that I can be the best version of myself, whether it be with my family and friends or at work.”
I think Raechel’s explanation of how this word describes her is so effortlessly bold and describes who she is.
She has always been someone who pushes for what she believes in works hard to achieve her goals and dreams, so ambitious is the perfect word to describe her.
What would you tell your younger self?
Something that Raechel and I both have in common is that we have always been extremely hard on ourselves in every aspect of our lives. Her answer to this question is something I wish I could tell my younger self as well. She simply stated, “not to worry about things and to push through.”
I think that this is even relatable right now. We don’t have a choice, but we have to push through and worrying about every little aspect isn’t going to help us in the end and won’t be seen in the big picture.
Who has been your biggest inspiration/motivation and why?
When I first met Raechel, I quickly learned that her favorite colors are red, white, and blue. It may seem random to some people, but it holds an immense amount of meaning to her as her father is her biggest inspiration for many reasons.
She said, “my dad challenges me to push myself and be better.”
You can tell by the way she talks about him she truly respects him and his accomplishments.
What do the colors red, white, and blue mean to you?
When I come up with questions to ask people during their interview, I try to ask questions that are tailored to who they are and what they represent. If there was one question I had to ask her, it was this one. For those of you who know Raechel, you know this question was made just for her.
As mentioned earlier, Raechel loves these colors. It holds several values that she keeps close to her heart at all times. She stated, “A sense of patriotism.”
She also mentioned how the colors represent the freedoms that we are lucky to have in this country.
Until I met Raechel, I never thought much about this color combination except maybe when deciding what to wear to the Fourth of July party. Now, every time I see anything with that color combination or the design of the flag, I immediately think of her and her values. Through her, I realized the weight these colors hold and how powerful they can be when representing certain things.
What was the hardest part about being an out-of-state student?
Raechel was born and raised in Minnesota. When it was time for college, she decided to take a rather large leap out west to sunny California. She left behind the snow and below-freezing temperatures for beaches and sunshine, but that didn’t mean that the adjustment to her new culture would be all sunny and clear skies. Change is difficult for everyone, and at 18 going on 19, that was no different for Raechel. She was starting college, in a new state, with a completely different culture than what she was used to back home.
She explained that there were several challenging aspects of being an out-of-state student at SDSU.
She stated, “being immersed in a different culture than what I had grown up in.”
She also mentioned the impact of being far away from her family for both good and bad times.
Why did you pick Business as your major?
Since the day I met Raechel, it was clear that she was a Business major.
When I asked her this question, she stated, “I picked business because I knew it could be applied anywhere.”
She also explained how she is a planner and wanted to stick to her plan. She didn’t want to change her major or end up in a different field than what she studied. She was determined to stay and stick to business.
I think this is something that Raechel and I have in common. We both like to plan and get things done. It provides us with stability and assurance. Even though I'm not a Business major, I have been and still am trying to stick to my plan.
How did you know you wanted me to be your little? What was your favorite part or memory about being my big?
When it comes to school, she is serious and determined, but in her personal life, she likes to have fun and surprise others. That was made clear to me during big/little week. When she tricked me to make me think my big (aka her) wouldn’t be at big/little reveal because her older sister was going into labor.
When I asked her this question, it took her some time to think, but she explained how her favorite memory was tricking me. I will give it to her that she did a great job tricking me. I believed every lie she told me. Side note (tricking and lying to your little is an aspect of this process to hide the big’s identity until big/little reveal). She had fun with it, and it helped that I was a gullible freshman. If she told me anything true about her, I would have known it was her in a second, just because we have spent so much time together leading up to the big moment.
She also explained how she loved seeing my genuine shock.
This question brought up a lot of memories for both of us.
She discussed how she knew she wanted to be my big because she saw a little bit of herself in me. I was this young, wide-eyed freshman, who had so many questions about absolutely everything.
She felt the same way as a freshman. She knew what it felt like and wanted to help. She wanted to do what she wished more people had done for her when she was in my position.
She also explained how when you're looking for a little, you just sometimes know what it's meant to be, and that's how it was for us.
After thinking more about when we first met, it allowed me to reflect on what a large impact she had on who I am today. I agree that she saw some part of herself in me because both of us are very similar in our seriousness towards school and about asking questions when we didn’t know the answer. We also can both be too hard on ourselves sometimes.
The adjustment of college is hard, and for me, it was filled with so many questions that Raechel helped answer. I’m so beyond grateful I get to call her my big because she helped guide me through college and was someone I could always go to for support.
What was the biggest challenge you faced while in college?
Many people in our lives put pressure on us to do well, whether it’s our parents, family members, the institution we attend or even ourselves. There are pressures to do well not only academically, but socially and the need and desire to “fit in.” I think that it’s difficult for most people to feel like they fit in, but it’s even more difficult if you are an out-of-state student in a completely new environment. For Raechel, it was the pressure to do well and to fit in were her biggest challenge while in college.
Did you always know you wanted to move back home after college?
Raechel spent three and a half years in San Diego, but always planned on moving back to Minnesota after graduation.
She did say that, “I miss the life that I had in San Diego.”
What has been the hardest aspect of post-grad life?
Post graduation can be an extremely hard time for young adults. It’s a time of uncertainty and the task of finding a post-grad job can be daunting.
She stated, “I think again not the pressure, but expectation after graduation.”
Society sets up expectations that young adults get a job right after graduation, but the truth is that it takes time to find a job or company that is a good fit for you. Just like picking a college to attend, you have to make sure it works for you.
She also said it’s difficult not having a solid structure or routine, which I think this challenge is amplified now for many people all over the world as we are stuck in our homes to protect each other.
What do you miss most about San Diego?
Raechel has been back living in Minnesota since December, so I wanted to ask what she missed most about sunny San Diego.
She explained “I miss everything.”
She listed things like her friends, the weather (which I don’t blame her - I would miss that too), the food, living on her own and the freedom that comes along with that. She also misses her family that lives there, and she misses the campus and some aspects of college in general.
I wanted to give a huge thank you to my lovely big Raechel for allowing me to interview her and share her story. With every woman I interview, I become more inspired, so thank you for this opportunity.
Forever Always,
Emily